problemaddict 2

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Posts by problemaddict 2

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  29

  EXJW's in Mensa?

  by Luther bertrand in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  any exjw's or faders out there in mensa?

  any online groups for this niche?

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  problemaddict 2

  Ex-JW's should be honorary members if nothing else. Ha.
  
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  106

  Walking a thin line - Resigning Elder

  by Sanchy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  warning of a long boring post ahead.

  i feel like i need to vent my story out, as i feel quite helpless at the moment.. i'm 31 year old, married, father of toddler with another one on the way, due later this month.

  i've been serving as elder for about 4 years now in a south florida congregation.

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  problemaddict 2

  Sanchy,

  Your story reads like my own. I mean REALLY reads like my own. It took me years to finally leave (I'm in my later 30's), but having a young child really made me think differently about what I was taught. Something about your early 30's seems to spark introspection and the ability to "think for yourself". Its almost like you develop a real understanding of integrity when you consider your children.

  My wife was a pioneer for 17 years (since she was 13), need greater, daughter of missionaries and branch overseers. She was on assemblies, conventions, etc... She is now out. If she can be out, anyone can. I really believe that.

  PM me if you ever want to talk.
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  19

  Blood Components Hypocrsy

  by pandorasbox1914 in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  we all know the watchtower's stance on blood:.

  blood components, plasma, red cells, white cells and platelets-no.

  fractions-your bible trained conscience.

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  problemaddict 2

  Blood was the first brick that fell for me. I tried to defend it (I will spare my attempt at apologetics, but it was along the Firpo Carr route, and kind of what i hear from people when I have the discussion with them now namely.....that its bad medicine).

  My favorite arguments against the insanity that is the blood doctrine are as follows.

  1) White blood cells are forbidden, but Albumin is "christian to decide". Albumin however is more present in blood than WBC's by double. As far as i can tell there is no real medical designation for "main components" in a real sense. There are 3 sections that separate when put through a centrifuge, but that is fractional, just in the way that if they take it further, they are further fractioning blood. the WT explanation for this is like a pie. Apples, sugar coat, crust......main components. But could flour, water (from the apple), sugar....be called a pie? So the criteria for what makes something too much like blood to be blood is important.......but as far as I can see there is no criteria.

  2) The bible says to abstain from blood. it does. But what does this mean (if you follow the bible as an authoritative source). Well......Jesus broke the sabbath, and set a model for putting people above laws. Did he do this just to enforce more laws in the end, especially something so gnat straining as the blood doctrine? Paul can explain it. In the same scripture that says to abstain from blood, they are also told to not eat meat sacrificed to idols. But later in 1 Cor 10:25 Paul says this when the meat in the meat markets source can't really be verified.

  “So you may eat any meat that is sold in the marketplace without raising questions of conscience.”

  So this could not have been universal abstention. It was a reasonable conclusion to a complicated issue at the time, because the Jews were used to the letter of the law, and their mentality had to become a little more at ease in order to follow Jesus. Jesus made people and life a concern OVER the law. End of story. Numerous examples abound. Even in the mosaic law there was an arrangement AFTER the Noachian creed was spoken, for Isrealites to eat the flesh of an animal not properly bled (but they would remain unclean for 1 day). Maybe if you take blood, WT would disfellowship you for one day? Ha! My point is of course that it isn't biblical even in a vague sense, except when you haven't taken any time to research alternative views, and take the scripture out of the context of the book it is written in.

  3) The argument FOR JW's stance from their perspective seems to not linger on doctrine. They really won't engage the lack of logic, and they will not discuss it from the scriptures standpoint. Its like they just point to Acts and say....see? No their apologetics revolve around whether blood is good medicine or not. If there is something better for us, and we do better without receiving it (due to modern medicine advancements), then they must have been right all of this time! In fact, you should be grateful because witnesses have driven this change and helped the world discover the dangers of blood. Can you imagine the arrogance of that view. Coupled with that, a CO who is (was) a family friend told me very directly that in 2008 they stopped disfellowshipping for it, and just try to readjust the person. If this is the case, why would they not communicate it to the flock? Why was it only some high level speak to the CO's thing? Probably pressure from the outside world to abandon this archaic was of thinking? In closing his point was that since taking on the doctrine, there is evidence of growth and "Jehovah has not transferred the responsibility of the preaching work to some other more favored organization". Needless to say we didn't go beyond that point.

  In short, transfusing isn't eating, and eating isn't transfusing. Because the context of scripture is of course eating only with regard to the abstention protocols, one could easily argue that a transfusion far from being a misuse of blood, is using it exactly what for what it is INTENDED to do. That along should make it a conscience matter across the board.

  They have elevated the symbol of life above life itself.

  It took me a while, but these things are what finally freed my mind. i discovered it while serving in a remote congregation in a far away country. That was a weird year.
  

  
  
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  30

  Quality of JW teaching from elders

  by sir82 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  there was a recent thread on the "quality" of converts to jws in recent years.

  it wasn't a pretty picture, based on the thread contents.. well, the lack of depth isn't restricted to new converts.. in our clam this week, one of the principal points for review was this:.

  ne 1:1; 2:1—why can we conclude that “the 20thyear” mentioned at nehemiah 1:1 and 2:1 is countedfrom the same starting point?

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  problemaddict 2

  Seems like the ones becoming elders in their 20's, have so fully indoctrinated themselves that their entire mannerisms pool around being the quintessential elder. To any normal person they would just seem bizarre.

  I know of a young man locally who became an elder. Hes young, a bit funny looking (but married cute even younger hispanic sister from the spanish hall), and not a bad guy. He gives assembly parts appropriate for the new guy so to speak. But he is an absolute bore. No depth. The kind of guy who ends every prayer with

  "we leave this meeting in your care and keeping". Other interesting buzz phrases abound. Its like he only speaks in witness idioms.
  
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  58

  Cappytan has made a video. Here is the link

  by joe134cd in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsbfnzrbiqq

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  problemaddict 2

  Are you just trying to build suspense here man?

  "I accidentally deleted it"

  "It was public then private"

  "I'm at a theme park"

  I don't know what to believe anymore!
  
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  37

  Stepping out of the shadows

  by contramundum in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been lurking on the site for a few months and thought it about time i plucked up the courage to step out of the shadows and say hello.. i am in the process of fading after realizing all is not right with the organization i had trusted implicitly for over 40 years.

  there have always been 'truths' i have struggled to accept entirely, even as a child, but was confident that trusting in jehovah, building my faith and remaining patient would be enough to settle any nagging doubts that remained, so i pushed any inconsistencies to the back of my mind and concentrated on being the best witness that i could be.. over the last few years, however, i have been preoccupied with a number of crises in my family and stepping back slightly from 'theocratic' activity has allowed me to re evaluate a number of concerns and research sources other than the sanitized wt publications.. my eyes are now wide open - i found things which have appalled me and left me feeling extremely let down and disappointed by people i had really trusted.. i tried gently raising a few subjects with my mum (who was baptized early '70s and still remains a staunch wt supporter) but she will hear no criticism of the organization.

  i understand this because the best part of her life has been invested in the religion and to acknowledge it may have got things wrong would be to recognize the last 40 years have been a vain waste.

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  problemaddict 2

  Welcome to the forum. Its always like reliving it when you hear what people are going through as they fade or try to leave. it flips your world upside down in a way people that haven't lived really can't grasp.

  Hard to give you solid advise on your question. People vay so much in their responses. I haven't been for a couple years now, and I have 2 decade old friends just now deciding to shun me. They never put it like that of course, because they don't want to seem like a holes. Other friends know how I feel, and have stuck around. i have no interest in screwing with their faith, and they know where I stand......its like any other relationship.

  My thought would be to respond....."I'm doing fantastic thanks for asking. Want to grab some ceviche saturday around lunch and throw bread at birds?" (I clearly have no idea what your saturdays look like....just spitballing.)
  
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  121

  Hey ya'll! My first post. Please help. In need of advice/comfort.

  by Stepford Wife in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey ya'll!

  i have been lurking for years on this site and others but never had the courage to post anything.

  actually i was afraid of posting on an apostate site in the event i was wrong.

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  problemaddict 2

  I don't want to discourage the court route if you felt strongly about it, but libel or slander (spoken or written), is damn near impossible to prove. At the least you would need multiple people loyal to the branch to all flip and once and corroborate your story showing intend to defame.

  JW's are a religion. So the first amendment is both a sword and a shield. And for Satan running it apparently, they sure do avail themselves of everything possible to protect themselves.

  So I wouldn't put too much on that. Try to handle it free from legal challenge. It might just be the anger and frustration talking.
  
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  121

  Hey ya'll! My first post. Please help. In need of advice/comfort.

  by Stepford Wife in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey ya'll!

  i have been lurking for years on this site and others but never had the courage to post anything.

  actually i was afraid of posting on an apostate site in the event i was wrong.

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  problemaddict 2

  Can one be DF for not reporting time in service????
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  121

  Hey ya'll! My first post. Please help. In need of advice/comfort.

  by Stepford Wife in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey ya'll!

  i have been lurking for years on this site and others but never had the courage to post anything.

  actually i was afraid of posting on an apostate site in the event i was wrong.

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  problemaddict 2

  Hey SW (great name). Welcome. The following are my random thoughts, probably can barely be called "advise". Whatever you decide to do, I understand how hard it is and the struggle.

  Hey ya'll! I have been lurking for years on this site and others but never had the courage to post anything. Actually I was afraid of posting on an apostate site in the event I was wrong. But now I am convinced that I made the right choice to mentally leave the witnesses. The next step is to physically leave. Gonna be hard since my husband is very active as an elder and everytime I hint about something he asks me if I am reading apostate sites. For example I have been researching about the stance against using blood. I don't think I need to get into details why the JW org has got it all wrong but I secretly tore up my no blood card. When I told my husband that I would take blood he started to cry and tell me that I was one step away from being an apostate and that it would be his duty to report me if I mention this again. Ok so there we are.

  Yikes. This sounds familiar. My wife said the same thing, and cried. She is now out. Don't give up, but maybe ease back being overly honest for a bit. His duty to report you.......ugh. Its really a horrible betrayal...but he cant see it.
  

  Now, I'm not going down that road. My whole family are witnesses. It is all I know so getting dis-fellowshipped is not an option. So I am going to do the fade. I have not attended a meeting in about 3 months. No service time, nothing. I still have my close friends in the hall and we do things together and they don't seem to mind that I am inactive. My husband comes home the other day and says the brothers want to meet with me and that it is a shepherding call to motivate me to get back in. He said he has tried his best to encourage me and now the elders would like to visit me. And I am a little bit nervous. I never had the brothers talk to me about anything.

  Ok. So i am with you 100%. Don't allow them to disfellowship you. You can refuse their visit, and that is what i would do (am currently doing). Nothing they can do. I am always super nice anmd let them know I know they "are there for me if i need them". Keep in mind.....this WILL get your husband removed. He might be dealing with that right now as well. Just to fully understand his situation too.
  

  What can they do to me if I have not committed any sins? What will they say?

  You don't have to sin to be disfellowshipped. If you tell them things that throw up the red flag, they can take action. Officially someone only need not believe the full body of christian beliefs, and you can be DF'd. I mean think about it this way......if they decide to do it.....what could you possibly do about it? This is why its good to not meet with them, considering your plan.
  

  Our daughter told me recently she also does not want to go and I told her we can stay home together. Is being inactive something they can shun me for? My husband said they will remove him as an elder if I do not begin to go to meetings. Is that true?

  You have your daughter!! Its more than most get. Embrace it, speak to one another and that way maybe you can keep from blurting out what you really think and feel. Is being inactive something they can shun you for? Look....if you aren't DF'd you will still be shunned by some. I have lost friends of 20 years, and others don't blink and have been good friends. Its really up to the person. So I would say try to spend time with those closest to you only. The surface and ancillary friends.....probably aren't your friends. Your husband will be removed.

  Here is where others may disagree with me. What is your marriage to your husband like? You been married a long time? Do you really love each other? Do you communicate well? You may have an opening to have a somewhat honest conversation with him. Better to ask questions that lead, rather than just unload what you believe. But......don't rush that. Just look for an opportunity. For different people, its different things.
  

  Anyone have gone through this already? Thanks in advance ~TD

  Yes maam! Going through it with some family members right now......I lost a lot of people in my life in 2015. The religion doesn't let you leave with dignity....so you have the TAKE and HOLD your dignity. Its worth it. :)
  
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  73

  Im sick of my life

  by BlackWolf in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sorry but i really feel like i need to rant right now.

  recently my dad was made an elder so my family has been doing a lot more "theocratic" activities lately.

  every morning i wake up and put on my itchy dress and stupid makeup and heels and then pretend that i love what i'm doing and that everybody is my friend when in reality i feel horrible and all the other teenage girls at my hall hate me for some reason.

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  problemaddict 2

  BW,

  I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through. I have ZERO experience in being a 16 year old girl at this or any other time. So let me just say three things.

  1) Get an education. Get good grades, find a dream or something you love that can support that dream, and get educated. Make this a stated goal, so your parents are aware of it.

  2) You have to decide if you want to be authentic with your parents about the way you feel (not about the religion.....you probably can't do that), but about being unhappy in life, and dealing with depression. If you and your parents are close, maybe being open with them about this would be good. In the end, it may even help your cause.

  3) Get an education. Ok I'm laying it on. But you get it. Do the things that make you happy now. You will find an independent voice (probably at college). Love your parents and give them a break. Learn why this is or os not for you, and try to really have it in mind.